When I was about three or four years old, I had an imaginary friend named “My Imagination.” We did everything together. I would talk to my imagination all the time; we played, we read, and we snuggled together. Whenever I had a question that no one else would answer, I’d always ask My Imagination. Whenever I heard my parents fight or there was stress in the house, I’d call on My Imagination to comfort me. We lived in a roomy, handicapped accessible apartment, and outside the door in the hallway, there was some kind of a wall plate attached to the exterior wall. That’s where I believed my imagination lived. I don’t know why that’s where my friend came from, but I was sure, that’s the place from which she came and went.
My Imagination wasn’t a secret either. I told everyone about everything we did together. It was a little bit of a joke in the family that Jessie had this imaginary friend, and based on my recollection, they were even more amused that my imaginary friend was named “My Imagination.”
Fast forward to my adulthood when I registered for a Masterclass at Mindvalley Academy. It was online, so I lugged my laptop and some headphones to my bedroom, sat on my bed, and logged on. I don’t remember the name of the woman running the class, but the experience she left me with will never be forgotten. In the context of healing your inner child, she introduced that she would be leading a guided meditation.
I’ve always loved guided meditations. I remember doing one in elementary school during religion class and a couple more in youth group. The experience was so relaxing, and because I’m the type that’s highly suggestive and visual, it was very effective. I hadn’t participated in any guided imagery sessions for a long time, so I was excited to begin.
Because I quickly entered a trance like state, I don’t remember all the details of how I got to the place that I did, but I do remember what happened. After bringing our awareness to a place of silence, she asked us to find a moment in our childhood when we needed help, and we were supposed to have a comforting conversation. Immediately I found my awareness entering our old apartment through the dining room wall, which is ironically on the other side the wall from the wall plate. My parents were doing their normal squabbling, and I looked down and saw a little me staring up at myself. Little Jessie asked, “Did you just come out of the wall?” I paused for a minute and looked back at the wall replying, “Yep. I suppose I did!” Then little Jessie asked, “What’s your name?” I laughed at her innocence, knowing that she was looking up at a big grown up version of herself, so I knelt down and wrapped myself around her and said, “I’m your imagination, and I came to tell you that everything is going to be ok!”
In an instant, my eyes shot open and my heart started racing. I didn’t know what was happening, but I did know something very clearly – I was My Imagination. It was me. It was me the whole time.
…and then I laughed and thought, “Of course it was me! Who else would My Imagination be but me?”
Now, if you’re into quantum physics, read books like Physics of the Impossible, or are a Transcendental Meditator and consciousness geek like me, you’ll know how many doors this just opened in my mind. This blew the doors right off their damn hinges! What if I am able to heal my inner child by using a consciousness-based approach, which is beyond time and space, to go back to myself as a child and heal my emotional pain so that I can have a bright future?
Ram Dass would say, “FAR. OUT.”
Ok, so from a less far out perspective – maybe basic psychology – what if we can, as adults, connect with our inner child on a level which produces healing to traumatic events so that we can become better adults? Well, from my experience, we can.
Honestly, it doesn’t matter whether I was LITERALLY time traveling or just rehashing the memory of meeting my little self when stuff started getting bad. At then end of that experience, I had relived a memory and using nothing but me, I comforted the anxiety I experienced when I watched my parents fight. This became a new chapter in my healing, and it became my go-to technique for making myself feeling better when I started reliving old, scary moments that would trigger anxiety storms in my head. I now know how to go back in time, using memories and consciousness to fix little me, so that big me can thrive.
I went online to see if I could find something similar to the guided meditation that I used. Below, you’ll find one that is 10 minutes and the other that is 20 minutes. If you have some time, find a quiet place away from distractions and try them out. Let me know what you think!
The Guru Girl